So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
