What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
