The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
