i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
