in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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