you would pick up someone in the library
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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