I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
