Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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