Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
