On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was born a porn star she said
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
