it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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