My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
