Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
