I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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