im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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