I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
