so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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