Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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