Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
