I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
