I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
