I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
