You're completely useless in the revolution.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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