why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
