you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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