a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
