Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
