Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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