He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
its liver damage thursday
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
