idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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