she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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