jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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