She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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