the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
