So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
