You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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