Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
