Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dicks are not precious.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
