Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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