well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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