My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
