me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
