the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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