The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
