I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
