i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
