i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
