Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
