I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I need moral support for this bender
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
