remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
