I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
