I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
