forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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