You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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