like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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