The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize