a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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