ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize