There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
